this time last year, i was absolutley stressed about the future. i had the applications to university of southern maine, CCSU, WCSU, and keene on my desk. but, i had yet to fill them out. i was confused, overwhelmed, and i have a bad habit of putting things that stress me out to the back of my mind, hoping they’ll eventually dissapear. i was also sure that it was probably too late to apply anyways, and that stressed me out even more.

this time last year, i was getting extremely agitated with music theory class. something i thought i’d excel in, but was having a very difficult time in. i was perplexed as to why i was one of the lowest grades in the class, when i was the most musically involved student in the entire school. in my high school, you needed 21 credits to graduate. i had 39 credits by the end of high school. 18 of them being music related. it didn’t help that my classmates frequently made jokes, the running joke of the class being leah’s not gunna get into college, and one classmate in particular told me every single day that i should ’ go lay in the middle of the road and get hit by a car.’

this time last year, my grades were slipping tremendously. the reality that marching band, the best experience i’ve ever had in my life, was over, killed me.  but, unlike the previous years, where i would sit and cry for a day and then i’d be fine, i didn’t cry at all. instead, i had blank emotions.

this time last year, i’d reach my absolute lowest point, the end, my breaking point, 5 days from now.